May 2013
9 posts
“I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.”
– Samuel Beckett; “Waiting for Godot” (via thegirlwiththelittlecurl)
they gave her a mirror so she could talk to a face
“let’s see if i can write about something other than my heart.”
i’m a one trick pony
and when i fall down, i don’t get up
i wish i could understand what a day is like for someone normal
snails and quails
“I wish I wrote the way I thought
Obsessively
Incessantly
With maddening...”
– Benedict Smith / “I Wish I Wrote The Way I Thought” (via fagnficent)
daddy's girl is crying
i’ve cried at the dmv before in frustration and helplessness, but this was different. the excitement, the anticipation of being behind the wheel again acted as a shield to deflect the oncoming realization of what was really happening. i’ve never hated anyone as much as i did the woman behind the counter. not because of paperwork or lack of cooperation, because of what she made me...
holding on to the childish notions that fathers never die and friendships are tangible
but he will and they aren’t
maybe i like to sweat because it puts me in touch with an animalistic side of me that believes sweat still comes as a direct result of some battle for survival. don’t you know we just exist now?
my family and friends love me, but i’m so tired that i can’t appreciate everything they’ve done and everything they’ve yet to do. body lethargic, mind restless. exhaustion and...
why am i sad
April 2013
8 posts
this is the best fucking day
taiwan
i was half-asleep when i realized i missed it
missed it so bad my breath caught in my chest
and my heart skipped ten beats
even though it was too hot to move in the summer
and so damp and bone-cold you could never warm up in the winter
even though i found out i was illiterate depending on my location
even though work was heavy
and some days i was emotionally unable to find myself food
even...
i can’t wait for my dad to give me a hug and tell me i’m too skinny
god, i mean it
SimplyNoise →
kind of glad i remembered this existed. i can’t even sleep to music right now.
my cave gets bright for an hour in the morning so i can’t sleep in. morning is lonely, morning is lovely. my joints ache, and i feel older than anyone my age has a right to. you’re afraid of the ocean, but i’m afraid of you. that deep, vast, creature-filled chasm ain’t got shit on even the brightest corner of your mind. i have nightmares about working forever, and i...
i drink too much coffee and loud noises make me...
i can never seem to drink enough
or smoke enough
or fuck enough
or sleep enough
or work enough
or walk enough
or sing enough
or cry enough
or see you enough
or not see you enough
or dream enough
or write enough
or eat enough
or starve enough
or shake enough
or whine enough
or bump my head enough
or make enough mistakes
to not wake up with your face swimming in my eyes
always
R: Oh, just a few minutes. Uh, now you mentioned empathy for others. Would you say that that is what motivates you to make the music that you make?
C: No, not really. It’s more a need for sympathy. I want people to feel sorry for me. I like the feel of the burn of the audience’s eyes on me when I’m whispering all my darkest secrets into the microphone. When I was a kid, I used to carry this...
March 2013
15 posts
1 tag
you can't fold a heart
your closet is sparse
but you’ve got a dresser full of hearts
broken, bruised, cracked and disappointed
you wake up in the morning
empty chest, tired eyes
your heavy head thumbs through them and,
without your consent,
decides which one you’ll wear today
maybe the first, blue and cold now
an entire summer rattling at the bottom of a rusted chamber
like an expired pill in an...
my self-esteem took the brunt of the blow
leaving the rest of me remarkably unscathed
here’s to martinis
and forgetting that i ever had the guts to try
1 tag
How to Rebuild a Life
For my friends.
Start small. Find a job. Don’t say it’s beneath you, don’t say you won’t fit in. You might find something you love. You might meet people who remind you what you’re capable of. A kitchen, a shoe store. You can’t imagine the day-in day-out fulfillment of knowing that someone appreciates you for some small miracle, be it a sale or a pizza.
Avoid hangovers, but embrace them when...
1 tag
poem
your friends are children
hearts once removed from the ache you know too well
selfishly, you’ve convinced yourself they don’t
can’t
understand
your music swims in your ears
and your words never sound so pretty
as they do in your head
you can’t rhyme
but you never wanted to
all you wanted was a poem
something written on your heart
worn on your sleeve
shouted from the...
1 tag
you were just my type
we never fucked
and with that omission managed to convince everyone
that a heart never held can’t be dropped
but i snuck it into your pocket
into the hollow of your neck
the silk of your hair
you never noticed it
curled around your waist
and tangled in your fingers
i think it used to be mine
but years of neglect left it dormant
an unused muscle in a sleeping chest
you woke it up, coaxed it...
1 tag
rah
she listens
and in that small favor gives you
tenfold what you could ever give her
your dizzy words and bullshit theories
spoken from a tongue soaked in alcohol
she takes them into her lovely mind
turns them over and hands them back to you
she won’t nod her head as the others do
she won’t allow your skewed sense of what is
or what should be
to elicit the words you ache to hear
with a...
“You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer,...”
– Dylan Moran (via holymum)
February 2013
31 posts
“When something bothered me, I didn’t talk with anyone about it. I thought it...”
– Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart (via onlytheilluminatisurvive)
and in that goddamn moment the only thing i wished was that i still had your number so i could ask you if you liked cruel intentions
