pom pom pompompom

"She wore flowers in her hair and carried magic secrets in her eyes. She spoke to no one. She spent..."

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 12:56:09 -0400

“She wore flowers in her hair and carried magic secrets in her eyes. She spoke to no one. She spent hours on the riverbank. She smoked cigarettes and had midnight swims.”

- The God of Small Things, Arundhati Roy (via felicefawn)

favorite books

leave it where it can’t remind us

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 08:38:51 -0400

leave it where it can’t remind us

came a yellow bird, aka how your bad decisions affect the people...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 01:19:45 -0400

came a yellow bird, aka how your bad decisions affect the people who love you the most

if you are shitty, you get shitty back. and i don’t give a flying fuck if you hate yourself...

Thu, 30 May 2013 23:56:00 -0400

if you are shitty, you get shitty back. and i don’t give a flying fuck if you hate yourself every morning when you wake up, plenty of people do. you put shit out there, you get it back tenfold. and if it makes you hate yourself more, you fucking stop. i’m not saying you’ll be happier for it, but be fucking decent and you’ll carry half the weight. attention gets you nowhere if you’re not paying any attention to the things that matter most. fuck off, seriously, anyone who indiscriminately hurts people with the same lame excuses.

"In the coffee shop, she sips her tea and watches each one of the people coming and going, thinking,..."

Mon, 27 May 2013 12:38:48 -0400

“In the coffee shop,
she sips her tea and watches
each one of the people coming and going, thinking, yes, my fury could eat all of you, it really could, the barrista boy, the fat woman with the scone, all of you, your warm blood would fill my throat
the flesh from your limbs would be chewed and gnawed the snapping of my teeth would splinter your bones, your pickled livers would be licked and swallowed, and finally, the points of my incisors would cut down into the steaming, warm meat of your hearts. I would wolf you down
in big, chomping bites.
And you would be gone, all of you,
the planet emptier and quiet,
all your busy rushing silenced
while my unquenchable fury
screams on.”

- Toby Barlow, Sharp Teeth (via mirroir)

you bitter little thing, you. it’s not a good look, for one long face and a quarter of a...

Sun, 26 May 2013 06:10:35 -0400

you bitter little thing, you. it’s not a good look, for one long face and a quarter of a century of living. strange, how we act in ways that push away the exact things we claim to want. that’ll never do. no wonder i’m bitter. it’s my own damn fault, and ain’t that shit? just tack it on to the list of things i wake up and remember, then spend each day trying to forget.

bitter, bitter.

"I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget."

Sat, 25 May 2013 09:01:05 -0400

“I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.”

- Samuel Beckett; “Waiting for Godot” (via thegirlwiththelittlecurl)

they gave her a mirror so she could talk to a face

Sat, 25 May 2013 00:26:25 -0400

they gave her a mirror so she could talk to a face

“let’s see if i can write about something other than my heart.”

Thu, 23 May 2013 23:36:47 -0400

“let’s see if i can write about something other than my heart.”

i’m a one trick pony and when i fall down, i don’t get up i wish i could understand what...

Wed, 22 May 2013 01:11:56 -0400

i’m a one trick pony

and when i fall down, i don’t get up

i wish i could understand what a day is like for someone normal

snails and quails

"I wish I wrote the way I thought Obsessively Incessantly With maddening hunger I’d write to the..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:23:06 -0400

“I wish I wrote the way I thought
Obsessively
Incessantly
With maddening hunger
I’d write to the point of suffocation
I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns
Manuscripts spiralling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing
And I’d write about you
a lot more
than I should”

- Benedict Smith / “I Wish I Wrote The Way I Thought” (via fagnficent)

daddy's girl is crying

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:08:00 -0400

i’ve cried at the dmv before in frustration and helplessness, but this was different. the excitement, the anticipation of being behind the wheel again acted as a shield to deflect the oncoming realization of what was really happening. i’ve never hated anyone as much as i did the woman behind the counter. not because of paperwork or lack of cooperation, because of what she made me realize. i wanted to scream, i wanted to tell her what she’d done. it was a simple request. she asked my dad to sign his name. what a wonderful feeling that should have been. sign here, give your daughter four wheels and an engine. freedom. instead i had to witness my father trying to write his own name. trying and failing. shaking and scared. i’d seen it before. in kindergarten classes, in students writing the alphabet in a language they didn’t recognize. but to watch your own father, proud and strong, succumb to an inability to conjure up an immediate knowledge of the alphabet, is something i couldn’t handle. i spent days thinking of my sisters, married, two grandchildren. and i knew, as i’ve always known, that my dad expected more of me. i trembled when he kissed me on the head and said “you’d make a great mother.”

it made me want to change. i want to make him proud. i just don’t know how.

holding on to the childish notions that fathers never die and friendships are tangible but he will...

Fri, 03 May 2013 22:41:00 -0400

holding on to the childish notions that fathers never die and friendships are tangible

but he will and they aren’t

maybe i like to sweat because it puts me in touch with an animalistic side of me that believes sweat...

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:49:24 -0400

maybe i like to sweat because it puts me in touch with an animalistic side of me that believes sweat still comes as a direct result of some battle for survival. don’t you know we just exist now?

my family and friends love me, but i’m so tired that i can’t appreciate everything they’ve done and everything they’ve yet to do. body lethargic, mind restless. exhaustion and hunger bring out the worst in people, and i’ve got plenty of both.

you are so strange, you are so strange-the thought echoes in my head, alongside every obsession. my hummingbird, my yellow bird. my hummingbird flits and floats, anxiety at its finest. an addiction to work, to movement. it needs four wheels and two feet. a road, a path. you are so strange. the thought drags everything down. hummingbird, you can’t hold that weight. two hearts, one life. some days a peaceful coexistence, some days a raging torrent of tugging. i avoid every pair of eyes when i speak, fearful that someone might catch a glimpse of every shake and rumble. even more fearful they’ll see nothing at all. love me anyway. and they do, they really do.

but you are so strange.

why am i sad

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:21:13 -0400

why am i sad

this is the best fucking day

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:53:48 -0400

this is the best fucking day

taiwan

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 23:45:00 -0400

i was half-asleep when i realized i missed it

missed it so bad my breath caught in my chest

and my heart skipped ten beats

even though it was too hot to move in the summer

and so damp and bone-cold you could never warm up in the winter

even though i found out i was illiterate depending on my location

even though work was heavy

and some days i was emotionally unable to find myself food

even though i couldn’t imagine staying

i miss it the way you miss things you know you’ll never get back

i can’t wait for my dad to give me a hug and tell me i’m too skinny

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:05:39 -0400

i can’t wait for my dad to give me a hug and tell me i’m too skinny

god, i mean it

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 00:48:38 -0400

god, i mean it

SimplyNoise

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 01:38:24 -0400

SimplyNoise:

kind of glad i remembered this existed. i can’t even sleep to music right now.